Miss China Paws

2007-02-13T07:35:00.000-08:00

The cheek of the humans! It's so irritating when the humans won't let me go upstairs at night. I mean, come ON, it's my house! Grr. Too frustrated to type more.

2007-01-30T07:07:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know, I haven't put my claws to board in months. But there has been TRAUMA in my seven lives. Is it seven lives? I've lost count by this stage. So. Christmas here at a la maison was CrAzY! All the wrapping paper and the smells of the teenage girl human's various beauty things was MAD. This week, they bought me a catnip toy. Normally I ADORE catnip, but this was a Christmas toy! I know they bought it half-price! I'm not stupid! And I will not settle for less then best.
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Evil humans!

2006-09-06T08:56:00.000-07:00

Do you know what they did?! Well, they bundled me into the cat carrier and shut me in. Then they shoved me into the car. I was howling about treason and kidnap but no other humans came to my rescue! I know! So then, they shut me in a room with one of those things that lots of water comes out of, and left me there for days! I could have starved! My dish didn't smell right, so I couldn't eat! Then, in the middle of the night, I got out! I woke the humans up to pour out my tuna, so I didn 't get to carry out my grand escape plan.
Pah.
So, after that they let me walk around the house a bit, and I'd just let them know it was my house and that was my basket, when they stuck a lead on me and dragged me outside! I tried to escape by jumping on the fence, but TGH dragged me down.
Bad!
Then, I'd just gotten over that tramautic experience, when, the next day, they did it AGAIN! I know!
And, oh uh, there comes TGH and older human with the lead...!
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Poor neglected cat

2006-08-20T13:50:00.000-07:00

Humans! Are! Bad!
They were out all day, doing something to do with...moving...And they left me no fresh tuna! Bad! The only tuna they left out was all dried up, and I couldn't eat that! So, I was just lying there, hungry, and somehow finding the strength to groom myself when they came home. I, of course, went straight to the door to howl at them. They, of course, realised their sins, and went all "Oh, poor China!" and let me out so I could eat my catfood. Humans! Are! Bad!
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Rain, grooming and...wait a minute?!

2006-08-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

Rain! Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrow!!! I hate rain. It's not fair! I couldn't even get out to my chicken catfood, because there were slugs and it was soggy! After a few hours I was so hungry I had to resort to a few nibbles. Slugs! In! My! Food! And then I couldn't go out because it was raining so hard. I howled at the humans to STOP it, but they wouldn't listen. And it took ages to get them to tip out my tuna fish! I mean, I will sip the juices from the tin, but EAT the tuna fish from the tin?! No! So, eventually they poured out my tuna onto the tinfoil. About time! And then water started coming in from the ceiling, so I ran upstairs. Hang on, they're saying something about it being a good thing we're moving....
WHAT?!

Tag (but not the one on my collar)

2006-08-12T09:28:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by The Meezers, too list 5 weird things about me and my humans.
Here are the rules: The player of this game starts with "5 weird things/habits about yourself." In the end you need to choose 5 people to be tagged and list their names. The people who get tagged need to write a blog about their 5 weird things/habits as well as state this rule clearly, then tag 5 more victims. Don't forget to leave your victim a comment that says "you're tagged!" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

5 weird things about the teenage human:

She's a vegetarian and won't eat fish.
The place where keeps all the clothes thingies is a mess.
She has over 500 books.
She buys anything with cats on it---books, payjamas, clothes, bags, ANYTHING. Oh, wait a minute, that's not weird.
She's always smearing stuff from a little pot on her lips.

5 weird things about the older humans:

She's a vegetarian who eats fish. Mmm, I get most of it, though!
She's always annoyed when there's cat hair on her clothes. She should be honoured!
When she has to meet someone she spends ages smearing weird smelling stuff all over her face.
She's always pulling a hot stick that hisses over her fur. It looks different after she does it.
I have to push over the little table with her radio on it to get her to get up in the morning and get me tuna.

5 ~~weird~~ fabulous things about me:

I can't eat tuna out of a half full tin or I get tuna on my whiskers.
I can use the computer.
I can hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowl.
I spend lots of time grooming so my coat always looks pretty.
Sometimes the grass in the garden attacks me and I have to run in. This has happened a lot since the roaring machines came and took away my garden.

I tag: Gigolokitty (http://gigolokitty.blogspot.com/), 5 cat flyer (http://fivecatflyer.blogspot.com/), Cat Girl's Amazing Felines (http://www.amazingfelines.blogspot.com/) Manx Mnews (http://manxmnews.blogspot.com/) and The Paw Path Cat Blog (http://pawpathlittermat.com/blog//)

2006-08-11T14:25:00.000-07:00

Hmph, nocat's tagging me in the "5 weird things" thing. Somecat tag me! Now!

Copycats!

2006-08-11T12:09:00.000-07:00

Everyone is copying my kitty klock!

Humans are BAD!!!

2006-08-11T11:59:00.000-07:00

The older human, she shut me out all day, because she had an important phone call and didn't want me to distract her. BAD HUMAN! She is my slave! How dare she lock me out!!
This morning, for a change, the teenage girl human was up early before the older human. She was eating her breakfast, so I rushed over to the door and started scratching like crazy to be let in. She kept on saying "No, you'll wake mum up!", but after a while she let me in. So, then I howled for a while for my tuna, but she didn't take any notice, so eventually I stopped and hopped up on the sofa. And then began thorough grooming.
To get revenge on the older human for locking me out, I sat on all her linen trousers, and groomed myself, so now there's cat hair all over them. HA!
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Where's my garden?

2006-08-10T10:20:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, men with big, roaring machines came into MY garden. I went under the bed, because I didn't want the roaring things to get me. They were there for HOURS, and I didn't get my tuna! Well, I couldn't let the roaring monsters get me, could I? When they were gone, after an hour or so, I went out to my garden to see what they had done. But it wasn't my garden! My garden had nice, long grass that you could play in, but now it's short green stuff. Definitely not proper grass. And everything smelled weird, so I had to go and rub my head against everything to let everyone know it was MY garden. I want my garden back.

WHY don't they get the name right?

2006-08-08T08:51:00.000-07:00

It's Miss China Paws not Miss China Paw.
But that's what it says on my pet insurance:
Pet: Miss China Paw
Grr!
The humans are always going on about they have pet insurance for me, but not them. Why should they have insurance? They are my SLAVES! Slaves don't have insurance! And they're always saying that with the amount of money they spend on the insurance, why don't they get the name right?
I have to say I agree.
But, that silly human! She forgot to post my insurance! So the insurance people rang her up and were like "Your insurance has expired.".
And she was like "But I posted it! Can you not cancel her insurance for a few more days?"
But THEN, she looks in her bag, and WHAT does she find?!
The form!
BAD humans!
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Grooming 101

2006-08-06T10:57:00.000-07:00

Use your teeth to get any knots in your fur out. Spend quite a bit of time on this stage---half an hour at least.
Now, start smoothing out your fur with your tongue. When it's all soft and shiny, this stage is over.
Now it's time to get down to business. Groom all your fur, and spend quite a bit of time. An hour is about the right time. Wash your face by licking the backs of your paws and smoothing your fur over with them.
Have a little nap, as this is quite tiring.

Remember to have a little groom after you have a nap. Even during the nap. And do a thourough grooming at least three times a day, especially after you've eaten.

Lots of purrs,

Miss China Paws

Aren't they nice?

2006-08-05T15:42:00.000-07:00

http://pawpathlittermat.com/blog/
Aren't those cats looooovely?!

It's Miss China Paws!

2006-08-05T12:05:00.000-07:00

so sorry for the lack of posts, I've been terribly busy, as these photos illustrate:

Let this be a warning to thee who steal my cat food.
I was sunbathing---but, of course, I remember to use SPF 15 Fur-Guard! Wouldn't want my fur to get all dry and brittle! I was having a lovely time till that silly human came along...Flash! Flash! Flash! So annoying! Though they did prove to come in useful, I suppose.
Ah, nothing like having a nice tuna picnic, and then stretching out in the lawn chairs, is there? All that's needed to make my day nicer would be some cod...

Lots of purrs,

Miss China Paws

Stringy!

2006-08-02T05:45:00.000-07:00

Stringy! I love stringy! Almost as much as catnip! The girl human gets some wool, and runs around the place with it. But I'm not silly. I know how to catch stringy! So, what I do, is I lie in wait under the table, or in the shadows, and then I POUNCE! And I catch stringy! But stringy gets away (how? It was under my paw), so I have to lie in wait again. And I catch stringy! But then the human decides she wants to go update something, so I don't get to play stringy anymore. Stringy! Stringy! I want to play stringy!
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

No blog today

2006-08-01T14:20:00.000-07:00

The girl human is keeping the computer all to herself! So annoying!
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Pet Blog Network

2006-08-01T06:05:00.000-07:00

I'm in! Not surprising, really.

Pet Blog Network

2006-07-31T14:56:00.000-07:00

If anyone is wondering why that banner has appeared --->, it's because I have to put that up so I can get in.

Weather = Weird

2006-07-31T10:32:00.000-07:00

Clouds. Sun. Rain. Sun. Clouds. Rain. Sun.
The weather is so weird. Why won't it obey me?
War of sofa continued today. I won. But then the human shoved me off the computer chair. Hmph!
New bag of cat food. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. It better be chicken...
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

2006-07-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THAT SIDEBAR???
HELP!!!

Greetings!

2006-07-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

Those humans aren't bothering me today because they're busy with the Sunday papers. The girl human very rudely shoved me off the computer chair so she could update her blog or something...
And THEN, just as I'd got myself nicely settled down on the sofa, what does she do? She comes downstairs, and tries to get me off the sofa! Well, I wasn't going to give in without a fight! So, what I did was I moved up and TINY bit, and then when she sat down, I shoved against her. And oh, those humans were laughing their heads off. And then she had the nerve to start pushing back! Well, I wasn't going to stand for that! But then she started reading the papers, and they getting near my whiskers, so I moved up. Ugh! Humans! So tiring!
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Rain. Bah. Humbug.

2006-07-28T13:42:00.000-07:00

Rain. Pouring rain. It's WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to rainy. However, I did enjoy looking out and feeling smug that I WAS IN, AND GINGERELLA WAS PROBABLY OUT. Ha. Ha. Those humans are so frustrating. Seriously. I was howling at them for ages to tip at my tinned tuna, and when they did they had the nerve to laugh and complain! Everyone knows that you can't eat tuna from the tin when it's halfway done. Otherwise you get fish on your whiskers.
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Lazy Summer Evenings (And mornings, and afternoons, and nights...)

2006-07-26T11:08:00.000-07:00

Summer. I quite like it, but it's too warm. When it's hot, I mostly just do these things:

Lounge around on the trampoline.
Lounge around UNDER the trampoline. (It's very cool there.)
Sleep.
Hooooooooooooooooooooooowl.
Sleep under the bed.
Sleep under the desk.

I'd quite like a hammock...

Lots of purrs,

Miss China Paws.

Lift me up, now!

2006-07-25T14:51:00.000-07:00

Ugh! Those humans are being so tiresome! You ask them something simple (to lift you up onto the windowstill, because it's too hot to JUMP up), and they make such a song and dance about it! But they did do it.
In the hot weather, I only eat my meals in the evening, because my appetite is very small, and I simply can't eat in the hot weather!
The humans went out to the beach today, leaving me at the house, alone. I decided to throw a party, but then I fell asleep.
They're hands smelt very salty, did they have fish? Suppose not, from the way they were going on how salty those crisps were.
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats

2006-07-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Kimberly-Ann, for tellin me about "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats", by T.S. Elliot. I dug it out from the humans bookshelf, and it was very funny.
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

What I Like To Eat

2006-07-24T13:23:00.000-07:00

Tuna fish.
Chicken flavoured catfood.
Cod.

What I don't like to eat:

Any oily fish.
Any other flavoured catfood.
Any other brand tuna then the one I like.

Lots of purrs,

Miss China Paws

No wouldn't it be a shame...

2006-07-24T12:40:00.000-07:00

If I thought no one was reading my blog, because no one was commenting, and so I stopped blogging?
Just something to think about, dahling.
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Gingerella...Grrrrr!

2006-07-23T13:41:00.000-07:00

*hiss* I HATE that Gingerella! She is a ginger cat with white markings, and she is VICIOUS. She frequently comes onto MY roof, and howls at me! I know! On my roof! She's always trying to steal my nice chicken catfood. Grr...She actually hops down onto the windowstill where my food is, from the roof! She has NO concept of terriotory...*hiss* *meow* The humans are always having to open the window at night to get her off the roof. But do you know what she does?! She runs over, hisses, and tries to attack them! They, of course close the window. Cowards.
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Mister Mistoffloes...

2006-07-23T13:35:00.000-07:00

...Has nothing on me!
Miss China Paws is a wonderful cat
Nothing like her
Has ever been seen
She's under the desk
Or under the bed?
Well, we all say:
Oh well, I never,
Have you ever?
Met a cat so clever as mystical
Miss China Paws

Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

10 Reasons Why Cats Rock...

2006-07-23T12:53:00.000-07:00

...Well, I do, anyway.

We don't need walks.
We don't need baths.
We're so cuuuuute!
If we like you, we'll sit on your lap and puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuur.
We're sophisticated---unlike dogs.
We like bookish people.
All the good authors have cats.
We have loads of books written about us.
We get fur all over your clothes---how many people can say they have a genuine cat hair coated sweater?!
We're your alarm clock...you might sleep in on a Sunday without us.

Lots of purrs,

Miss China Paws

Aren't I sooo cute?

2006-07-23T08:14:00.000-07:00

Seriously? I'm the the cutest cat ever, right? What do you mean, modest?!
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Two Fave Kitty Books

2006-07-23T08:02:00.000-07:00

Garfield Movies

2006-07-23T06:16:00.000-07:00

Those Garfield movies are so silly...lasanga? Give me a nice tin of tuna any day. And he was so silllllllllly to make friends with that ODIOUS dog, Odie! And have you seen how ugly the movie Garfield is? Ick!

Krazy Kitty?!

2006-07-23T03:22:00.000-07:00

This morning, I ran around the place. Up the stairs, run around the bedroom, wake up the girl human, run downstairs again, race around place madly, go into garden, race around madly, hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowl at humans for no apparent reason, and sit down on coach.
The humans were saying I was CRAZEE, but there's actualy a PERFECTLY rational explanation.
I just don't know what it is.
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Silly quiz thing.

2006-07-22T15:56:00.000-07:00

I nabbed this from themoneyguru.blogspot.com :
From my posts, descripe me in one word. Put it in the comments. Then do it on YOUR blog so I can do it for you!
The word fabulous springs to mind.

My wish list

2006-07-22T15:13:00.000-07:00

My wish list:
1. Fish buffet.
2. To defeat my evil nemisis, Gingerella. (More on that l8r)
3. For someone to comment on my blog!
4. To have my own satin bed.
5. For the world to worship me, as I deserve.

Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Silly humans!

2006-07-22T14:58:00.000-07:00

They spent AGES trying to get me out from underneath the bed...only I wasn't there!
Or was I...............?
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Comment! Comment! Comment!

2006-07-22T14:42:00.000-07:00

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? *kitty eyes* *howls*

Vets

2006-07-22T13:29:00.000-07:00

Vets are...there is no word to descripe them. But I know when they're taking me there!!!! The last time I went (5 years ago. Or is it 6?) once they put me in that cat carrier, I knew what was going on!!! So, I HOWLED and I HOWLED. I was letting people know I was being held against my will, and I was being taken to the vet!
And oh, how everyone stared! But did anyone rescue me? No!
But I HAD my revenge! Once they took me out of the cat carrier, I RAN around the room! They were chasing me around a small room! And crying "China! China!". Well, my slaves were, anyway. The vet looked kind of scared and just stood there.
Andway, after they finally caught me, and put me on that stupid steel table (why is it steel? Even equipped with fur like I am, it's really cold!!!!), and the vet was gingerly holding me, I HISSED and I HOWLED. And he sure looked scared!
After he told them to give me some antibiotics, he backed away, and my slaves tried to get me back in that carrier!
When we got home, they gave me some cod...but when I sniffed it, there were tablets in it! They were trying to poison me! I didn't eat it! A few days later, they FORCE FED me those tablets! But I'm more hardy then that! Whatever those tablets were supposed to do (no doubt drug me, so they could overthrow me), they didn't work! Ha!

Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Catism!!!!

2006-07-22T13:12:00.000-07:00

You know what REALLY agravates me? The movie Cats & Dogs. They made the dogs goodie-goodies, and the cats evvvil.
No fair! That's catism! Why are the cats always evil? Yes, we like our creature comforts, but so what?! At least WE won't slobber all over your shoes, chew up your slippers, or demand walks! Yes, cats are for the sophisticated human, who APPRECIATES what we're all about.
And gives us tuna fish.
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

Hot! Hot! Hot!

2006-07-22T12:58:00.000-07:00

Ooooooh, it's so HOT!!!!!!!
I had some frozen fish earlier on...wasn't very nice!
"China, I've given you fish! Oh, all right, you can have some more! "

That was my humans. Tiny slivers of fish! However, I stopped howling once they give me a nice chunky piece.
And once I let it defrost it was very nice.
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws

2006-07-22T12:36:00.000-07:00

Hello!

2006-07-22T12:14:00.000-07:00

Hello! I'm Miss China Paws. I'm a moggy cat, I'm 10, I'm mostly blakc with white tuxedo markings, and I have a white spot under my chin. I have 2 humans, who are my slaves. My DEADLIEST enemy is Gingerella. She is QUITE vicious...Meow! My pastimes are grooming, eating, grooming, sleeping, grooming, and did I say grooming?
Lots of purrs,
Miss China Paws